The Untypical Parent™ Podcast

Untypical Parenting: Friends, Laughter and Connection

• Liz Evans - The Untypical OT • Season 3 • Episode 8

Share episode

Enjoyed the episode, got a suggestion or a question send me a text

Untypical Parenting One Year On

The best stories start where the script stops working. Marking a full year of The Untypical Parent Podcast, we sit down with two people who helped shape it from day one, Charlotte from Badger Education, my first-ever guest, and Sam, from Something Profound, the first sponsor, to explore what it really takes to raise neurodivergent kids without a rulebook. This is a celebration, yes, but it’s mostly an unfiltered look at brave choices, messy progress, and the surprising wins that rarely make it into glossy parenting advice.

We dig into the heart of “doing it differently”: stepping away from social norms when they don’t serve your child, surviving the dread of school phone calls and local authority emails, and finding strength in a community that refuses to pretend everything is fine. You’ll hear how Charlotte reframed untypical parenting as courage in action, why Sam chose to pull her daughter from school, and how honest phrases like “we’re figuring this out together” can lower the temperature in hard moments. Along the way we talk sensory regulation that works in real life, running, texture rituals, movement, and small routines that calm busy brains.

There’s plenty of laughter, too. From coaching a bra fitting through a changing-room door to a disastrous upside-down roller coaster, we celebrate family humour as co-regulation and connection. We unpack the mental load behind dinner decisions, the secret superpower of finding lost things, and the micro-milestones that matter: a shorter outburst, a new food tried, a trip that softens a phobia. These stories don’t claim perfection; they show progress you can feel.

If you’re parenting outside the lines, or love someone who is, this anniversary episode offers practical empathy, relatable stories, and a reminder that small steps add up. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs to feel seen today, and leave a review to help other untypical families find us.

Badger Education: Facebook and Instagram

Something Profound: Facebook and Instagram

The Untypical Parent Podcast needs you. 

If you've got a question you want answered. If you want to let me know your favourite episode. Or just want to reach out & say hi. Your message could be featured on the podcast. 

You can either use the email address in the show notes or you can message me on The Untypical Parent Podcast Instagram account. Just click here 

Support the show

I'm Liz, The Untypical OT. I support parents and carers in additional needs and neurodivergent families to protect against burnout and go from overwhelmed to more moments of ease.

🔗 To connect with me, you can find all my details on Linktree:
https://linktr.ee/the_untypical_ot

And if you'd like to contact me about the podcast please use the text link at the top or you can email at:
contact@untypicalparentpodcast.com.

SPEAKER_03:

Hello and welcome to the Untypical Parent Podcast. Today we have a bit of a special episode. It is our one-year anniversary. I can't believe it. We've it's been a year. Today I have got with me two very special people that I have asked onto the podcast to come and talk to me for the anniversary. And for two very special reasons, they are very special. So, first of all, there is Charlotte Mountford from Badger Education who has come to join me today. Welcome, Charlotte.

SPEAKER_01:

Thanks. Good to be here.

SPEAKER_03:

It's been a year since you were last on the podcast. And Charlotte was my very, very first podcast guest. She was really brave when I sent her a message and said, Fancy being on my podcast. And I hadn't even put it out there yet. And she said yes. So she kicked off the untypical parent podcast. And then I've also got the lovely Sam Parkin from Something Profound has joining us today because also Sam saw something in the podcast very, very early on and became the first sponsor of the podcast, which blew me away and also helped to get the podcast out there and get things started and get things like the mics and all that kind of stuff. So Sam and Charlotte are both really, really important to me when it comes to the podcast. So welcome, Sam. Hello, thank you. This is your first time on the podcast.

SPEAKER_00:

It is, yes. It's my first time on any podcast other than my little ramblings.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, we're gonna look after you. We're gonna look after you. I know you will. I think today could go in any direction, I think, between the three of us. We're not sure where it's gonna go. I have told them both I have a structure to try and keep us on track, but we could go anywhere, and I think that probably sums up very well what it's like to be maybe an untypical parent. Um even when I think about it this morning like this afternoon, Sam's we've been slightly delayed recording, haven't we, Sam? We have, yes. In true untypical parent style. What happened to you this morning?

SPEAKER_00:

So, well, I was at the hospital and planning to have a nice relaxing afternoon, come back, get myself all prepared, but Lizzie didn't get up for school for the school bus this morning, and it was right bang on the time when we were gonna start doing the podcast. She wanted taken to school. So, and that is a daily occurrence in this house.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah, I think we can probably all relate to that one. Um, and I've got my morning this morning has meant that I have decided that I I've got my t-shirt on, my untypical, typically untypical t-shirt. Charlotte's got hers on. Sam made these, but what I'm glad anyone and everyone can't see is that I have got a very strange attire going on. So I was cold, so I've got a fluffy jackardigan on. I've then got my jogging bottoms underneath, and I've got my crocs on the bottom. So it's probably best for um an audio podcast rather than a visual. Sam's got a blanket, blanket. Brilliant, brilliant. So we're starting as we mean to go on untypically. Um, just a little bit about the podcast and where it came from. So originally the Untypical Parent Podcast began because I was aware that there are a lot of us out there doing things in an untypical way, and it's been really tough at times being untypical and doing it in an untypical way. And what I wanted to do is give a voice to that, but also to help parents and carers in neurodivergent families feel less alone, and that's where it kind of came from. It started as the untypical OT podcast. I very quickly realised no one had a clue what OT meant, so scrapped that and put parent in, and it's now changed the untypical parent podcast, and it's now been, as I say, nearly a year. Um Charlotte, what made you say yes to being my first guest?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh I mean it was a mixture of things, but I was thinking about this, and I think the biggest thing for me was that I just I've never felt like I found anyone who really gets what parenting for me is like. And I think you kind of have that assumption, don't you, when you're pregnant, that somewhere along the line you're gonna meet all these mum friends, and that's talked about so much, like the mum friends. And I went along to various different groups when as were little, mainly because I needed the entertainment, like I couldn't just stay in the house all day. That is not suitable for me. So I'd go along to these things and I'd be like, oh, maybe here I'll meet someone who's like on the same wavelength or does things the same way or understands what I'm moaning about when something's difficult, or then you know, they start at school, and you think, Oh, maybe at the school gates I'm gonna meet someone who kind of gets it. And don't get me wrong, I've met plenty of lovely families, people, you know, we've we have made friends from those various situations, some friendships that have lasted and some don't, you know, that's how things go. But I remember actually when as we're quite little putting a post on Facebook saying, I wish I could wear a headcam for a day because then people might understand what my life is like, and I still feel like that quite a lot of the time. Yeah, I don't think people really understand when I say things that that like that is genuinely what's going on in my household.

SPEAKER_03:

Um you can't even make it up, can you? You think if I make this if I said this, people would think, oh, you're making this up.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. People just would genuinely think you're that's not true. Um and so that kind of like untypical look at parenting just really interested me. Just like, yeah, I'd love to say my bit because maybe there's someone else out there who is in a really similar situation who thinks, oh, okay, it's not just me. Or maybe just little snippets like sound familiar to people, but it's that touch point, isn't it? Of oh, there is someone else who kind of gets it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, absolutely. And I think what happened then was after Charlotte had been on the podcast, you kind of sent me a message, didn't you? After that saying it was a bit like blind dating, I always felt I've got this person that likes you. And I was like, Oh, back at school. And that person was Sam, um, and you introduced us. So, kind of between you and Sam and me, we kind of we got that introduction, and Sam came forward and said, I would love to sponsor the podcast. And Sam, what kind of made you want to sponsor the podcast? What brought you there?

SPEAKER_00:

When I was listening to especially so Charlotte was the reason I came over because we I knew Charlotte from um the Northern Last Lounge, so and I love a podcast, so I was like, Oh, right, I'm gonna listen. What Charlotte Charlotte's got to say then? I was like, Oh, I like what Liz has got to say, and then I just it I am that parent, Charlotte. I am that person that's like you say this to your friend, and they're like, You did what? Okay, that's not that's you don't do that then, okay. Yeah, and you just feel really awkward, and now I listen to your podcast all the time. Like, I've just literally listened to your last podcast coming home in the car, feeling like stressed out because I've been running here, there, and everywhere. And it's like, oh, it's okay. There are other people out there that feel the same way, and you've just got to roll with the punches, but sometimes it's hard. Yeah, so our podcast is there for me, for Charlotte, for everybody.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Oh, I'm really pleased to hear that. I think I really try to get a really broad spectrum of guests on that bring lots of different just to show that nobody has got it absolutely perfectly pinned. And I think it was one of the um episodes with Heidi was talking about actually how there are times when she feels um Heidi Mova. Um, she talks about feeling um it was in a meeting I think she talked about and feeling really overwhelmed in a meeting. And when you see Heidi and hear her talk, she's so confident, you think, I can't, I don't, I don't really? She feels it too. And I think that's what was really important to me was trying to show this whole breadth of different parents, and actually, even those ones that look like they've kind of got it, we really don't. Yeah, that's really kind of that's what I hope the podcast would bring. Um, if I was to ask you two, so maybe start with Charlotte. What does an atypical parent look like to you? What is an untypical parent, Charlotte?

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, that's a really tricky one. So I have also listened to like all your episodes. I love it when one of your episodes dropped. And I think what's come across to me throughout the year is that actually, like you've had loads of people on whose parenting and families probably look nothing like mine, but there are still things you can take away from each one. And I think it's given me even more understanding of like when you pass that, I don't know, that person in the street who's having a tough time, you have no concept of what's going on behind that. When you see someone on social media putting out, you know, whether it's their business, whether it's like parenting on social media, whatever it be, you know, there is a million things going on behind every single one of those posts, and no one's got it perfectly lined up. Nobody. Um, and I think for me, that untypical parenting is actually being brave enough to step away from all that like advice, from that this is the way you should be doing it, even from those things that you thought you were always gonna do as a parent, and actually being able to go, do you know what? That's not gonna work for us, and being brave enough to just figure out your own way, and some days that might go better than others, and some days I'm sure all of us have gone, oh, we've got it, this is gonna work now, and then you try the same thing the next day and it doesn't work ever again. But yeah, just being prepared to go, do you know what? I'm gonna try and do it different and see what works for us. Let's figure that out. There isn't, there isn't a bloody guidebook. No, the number of books I've got from the library and bought when they were little. I remember Gina Ford, I can't remember, but there were other ones, weren't there? And being like, this is gonna solve all my problems, and none of them bloody did. There isn't a guidebook to kids, they're all different, and there isn't a guidebook to how you handle stuff as the parent either. Um, yeah, so you just have to be brave to go, this is what I'm gonna try, and I'll see if it works for us. And if it doesn't, I'll look for something else or I'll figure something else out. Um it is brave, that isn't it? Go on, yeah, and also I think being brave, and you know, it's definitely now as a older, but being brave to say to them, look, actually, we're just trying our best to. I don't know if this is gonna work for us, I don't know how we solve that. But actually, I think that's really powerful for them to see that. And I never saw that in my parents, you know. My parents would never have turned around to me when I was little and said, We don't know what to do here, or we don't know how this is gonna go. Um, but I think it's actually really helpful to be honest about that with your kids and go, we're just trying, we're trying our best and let's figure it out together. Yeah. Um, because I kind of hope when if they're ever parents, that'll feel more comfortable for them then to know actually my parents didn't have it all sorted, but we got here and we're all okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah. Sam, do you have a what's your kind of idea? What do you what does an untypical parent look like to you?

SPEAKER_00:

One of us three, I presume. I don't know what I can add on to what Charlotte said, because that that's pretty much summed it up. The untypical parent is somebody who is willing to go away from the social norms to do what's best for their child and their family, and as long as you're trying, that's that's all you can hope for. It can be really scary sometimes though, as well, can't it? Taking Lizzie out of school, I took her out of school, and that was petrifying. And the only reason I did that was because I was getting pushed from pillar to post about um education other other than EH not EHCP. Education, that's it. And school was saying it was SIPS that dealt with it, and SIPs were saying it was school, and I just went, I've had enough, I can't do this anymore.

SPEAKER_03:

I can do a better job putting my energy into helping her learn than being on the phone with you people that are you think the amount of time that you end up doing that. Actually, I could be directing this somewhere else. But it's really brave, like Charlotte said, and it's scary to make those decisions to do things in an untypical way that this isn't the norm. Um, and I'm gonna have to do things differently for my kids, and that's not what people are telling me I should be doing. People are telling me it should look like this, and that's brave and it's scary, and it's frightening, and also liberating in a way as well. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I have got a bit of a quick fire round for you. So you don't have to go into huge amounts of detail, but kind of maybe the first thing that comes to mind when you hear some of these things. So, who wants to go first? You can swap it around, it doesn't have to be Charlotte every time. Shall we start with Charlotte, Sam? And then you can watch Charlotte go and then see what she does, yeah, and then decide whether you want to go first next time. So we're gonna do a quick fire round, okay? I've got these written down, so you're gonna have to excuse me if you're watching on YouTube and you see me keep glancing off. I cannot remember all these written words. My dyslexia will not let me do it. Okay, so Charlotte, what one word would you use to describe your parenting this year?

SPEAKER_01:

Lazy.

SPEAKER_03:

Probably lazy I don't even believe that, but go on.

SPEAKER_01:

Because we've got to a kind of point where like we can just be a little bit less on it all the time. Like it's not lazy, but it's just actually and now I've said it out loud, so it'll probably all go to shit, but you know, we're at a point where things are pretty balanced, and so you can just sit back a little bit more and kind of just see where everything's going rather than feeling like there's you've got to be doing something all of the time. Yeah, so I guess it feels a bit lazy compared to yeah, where we have been. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

All right, then Sam, over to you. What one word would you describe to chaos?

SPEAKER_00:

Why is chaos, Sam? Oh well, you know, I've got one at uni doing um musical theatre, and I've got one who's now back in school, um, and obviously it's struggling to get there. So life is just I never know where I'm gonna be. It like and and I never know who which one I'm gonna be parenting.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, Pat, do I need to put on today? Yeah. I think mine's probably messy. I think it's it doesn't look it, it's never kind of clean and organised, my parenting it is messy, but we kind of somehow get there each time. I don't know how, but we kind of do sometimes make across the line. Everyone's still alive at the end of the day. They've eaten, they've been fed, they've been watered, and those kind of feel like the main things, but messy would probably be quite a good word I would use for me at the minute. Okay, next quick fire round then question. Charlotte, what sensory tool could you not live without? I can see something in your hand already.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so I yeah, I was thinking about this, and I don't know if you count it as a sensory tool, but for me, it's running, it's getting outdoors and running. Like I cannot function if I can't get out there. And it's not every day, but like probably three times a week. And it's it's that whole thing, it's being outside, it's being by myself, it's definitely that movement and repetition, it just calms my brain down, it shuts everything up. So I don't know if you can that as a sensory.

SPEAKER_03:

No, you can have that sensory activity, that's absolutely fine. We'll let that one go. That's perfect. Because my one's probably motorbiking, so I would have had that one as well.

SPEAKER_01:

And if I don't get out and do it, then my mood just goes. Like if I can't, if I'm injured, whatever, then I know that life is not going to be good.

SPEAKER_03:

And I think that was really interesting because Sam, I don't know whether you can relate to this one, but I think with the kind of more chronic illness side of stuff, for me, mine was always sport, was a big thing that I used to help with my sensory stuff, my mood, all that kind of stuff. And I lost all of that, I think, when the diagnosis for me came along and things got too difficult. And I know that that's something that you experienced as well with the kind of more chronic illness side of things. Is um I felt like I lost a load of sensory stuff, but um, I don't know. Do you what have you kind of got a sensory go-to that you know kind of chills you out and and really helps?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, um, this came on mine and Charlotte's trip with us.

SPEAKER_03:

What is that? But we've got to describe it because it'll be some people that are just listening. It looks like an eye mask, it is an eye mask.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, some people say it looks like a sanitary towel, but it's not.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I wasn't gonna be that rude, Sam.

SPEAKER_00:

But now you've said it. So I've got a funny thing about fabrics. Yeah, yeah. And uh when I um when I especially when I'm going to bed, so when we me and Charlotte were away, um I had this in bed. Do you remember I lost it between the beds? Yeah. And because I like the fabric, and then I suck my tongue at the same time. And no matter what's going on, no matter how stressed I am, if I can go and like get myself 10 minutes quiet peace and with my little fabric and so you don't use that as an eye mask?

SPEAKER_03:

No, it's the the texture of the fabric. And what did you say? You suck your tongue? Yeah. How do you suck at your tongue? I'm I'm trying to do it in my mouth. Oh, so Richard, you can't see this. If you I would recommend if you're listening, go watch this on YouTube.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm not even sure I can describe that. I've done it all my life, and then uh when I was younger, so how n how I was never picked up as being uh neurodiverse in some way, I I don't know. But I got always told to stop it, and like I would get flicked and stop it, and then I got hypnotized to stop when I was going to high school, and then I started again like after high school, and I just thought, oh, you know what, this is just me, I don't care. Did the hypnotising work? It did, yeah. But I think it was along with the fear of being picked on. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

So it's the social pressure.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Whereas then as I got older, I was just like, oh, you know what? I don't care. My husband doesn't care, so he's the one that's gonna sleep next to me. When you go to sleep? When I get tired, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah, no, a self-soothing thing.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I've learnt something today. I'm not gonna ask you to do it again, it's okay. Okay, next quick fire round question. Who wants to go first? Do you want to mix it up, Charlotte?

SPEAKER_01:

I don't mind. I don't mind either way.

SPEAKER_03:

Should I go you, Sam? Go on then. What's been the best moment about being a parent in the last year?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, taking Lizzie to Italy. 100%. She came out of her shell so much, and um, she was like, she's got a germ phobia, she was shaking people's hands, you know, like how as in the restaurants, and she was trying new foods, and it really made me feel like, why do I not live in Italy? Yeah, just how did that come about, Sam? How did you get how how why Italy? So um I have Italian heritage. I was gonna say your surname slightly gives it away, but so Jacopazi is my my maiden, and um my dad had actually never been to Italy. Um, and so my mum passed away just over a year ago, and I was like, We're good, we've got to go, we've gotta go. And so we took him, and it was just brilliant.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh wow, and she just had an amazing time. You get moments like that, don't you, when you take them away or you do something that you think possibly this this could be really tricky, and they just suddenly they just fly, and you just think, Oh, if I could just kind of bottle that, and every so often just let the cap the top off and just experience it all over again would just be so amazing. Oh, I'm so pleased you got that. Charlotte, what about you? What's been your best moment?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, talking of new experiences, this was not my best moment at all. This was possibly one of my worst moments of the year. So when we went to Disney, our middle one doesn't he loves movement, but he's always wary of new experiences. So the art he loves he loves some roller coasters, but like the the visual of a big roller coaster will put him right off.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So in one of the parks, you went straight in and there was a massive roller coaster, like the first thing you came across, and he was just like, No, I am not doing that. Fine, no problems. And I spent the day like gently coaxing him and talking to him about maybe he could try a big roller coaster. And you know, I didn't like the sitting and waiting for it, but I always like them once they go, and I thought he would like the probe reception and whatever. Anyway, so I eventually, yeah, he agreed he would do one with us. Um, so we queued up for this one. Um, and as we were moving through the queue, there were all these signs about how this roller coaster traversed with you upside down, which I was immediately like, I don't want to do this anymore. And then as we got closer, it didn't have like the full harness that I was expecting, it just had a lap bar. So I was shitty in my pants because I was like, I ain't gonna feel safe on this going upside down with only a lap bar. And however much you tell your brain, it's got to be safe. Like they couldn't run it if it wasn't safe. My brain was just on fire. Anyway, he hadn't noticed any of this, so I was like, okay, I don't know what to do here. Okay, we'll chance it. And he and I ended up sitting next to each other, just the two of us in a row. I was like, this is a bad combo because I ain't gonna be any help to you. Anyway, suffice to say, we both absolutely hated it.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh no, if we're gonna say you loved it.

SPEAKER_01:

No, absolutely hated it. You're only you were upside down, probably for less than 10 seconds, but you knew you were moving upside down. Whereas he's okay if you kind of spiral upside down, but it's just a quick thing. Anyway, he absolutely hated it. He it was all my fault, obviously. I mean, to be fair, it was my fault. Yeah, it sounds like it was anyway. So that wasn't my greatest move moment with new experiences, but we got over it, it was all okay.

unknown:

I love that.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know what my best parenting moment this year's been, really. Um, I mean, the youngest has transitioned to high school so far smoothly, which I think is like a massive win. Yeah. I think in general, it is. I don't know if you guys have had it, but sometimes you just get moments in time where you kind of step back from things and think, do you know what? Even six months ago we couldn't have been doing whatever. Like it doesn't have to be anything big, but just and we've had quite a few of those this year, just kind of actually we've we've come so far, and it's not like one particular thing, it's just when you get to have that minute to stand back and just think, my god, like three months ago they wouldn't have accepted that, or they wouldn't have managed that situation, or yeah, and I just think that's been really, really nice, just to kind of go, do you know what? We've we've come so far, and even when it feels like tiny steps at the time, when you kind of look back over it, it's like, oh my god, like that's added up to something, yeah, really important.

SPEAKER_03:

When you're in it, it's really hard, isn't it? To see that. I think when you're in the day-to-day of it and it's hard and it's tough, and like you say, very often we don't have a lot of time. Um, and when we do get those moments, we're often film filmed with something else. Um, but to actually be able to step back and go, do you know what? We've come such a long way, and yeah, things are so different, we're still we're st it's still tough because I think life was untypical parents and families, but it's gonna be, but I actually I just think moment probably most families is tough, but um to be able to step back and have a look at that and go, Yeah, do you know what we've come a long way? Um I was thinking about my favourite parenting moment, and I've got kind of my favourite parenting moment is kind of a general thing that I have, is I love hearing my boys laugh, like real proper, belly laughing. And I think we had a time when my youngest was so poorly with his mental health there was not a lot of laughter in our house, and now every time I hear them laugh, it's just that's why I would bottle that moment. That's the moment I want to bottle, and that not when they're just they want to kill each other and they're flicking each other, or my boys are like 18 months apart, and they're just they just annoy the hell out of each other. But there are moments that I can hear them upstairs roaring with laughter, usually it'd probably something to do with a really ridiculous TikTok video that they're watching. Um, that they then want to come down and share with me, and I go, What? What why is that funny? I don't give a lot. Oh god, don't start, sir. Six seven. Oh, they try and make me say that. Like, oh can you do this? Can you and if this and then that number? What are those two numbers, Mum? And I go, what, six and seven? They're like, Oh, six, seven. You did a post about that, Charlotte, didn't you?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, my boys haven't taken to that at all. It's weird. Yeah, some things they do, but they're just like, what is that about? It's not even funny. Why does everyone go on about it? I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Don't know. I would agree with that one.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, you can choose now who goes first. I'm not gonna give you, I'm gonna remove the demand. Um which bit from this year would you happily leave behind in 2025?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, you won't let me go first.

SPEAKER_01:

Parenting-wise, I don't know. Uh, I mean, one very awkward conversation with the school I could do without those phone calls. I mean, just those school phone calls. In fact, the minute I see the school number on my phone, I'm just like, oh god, that sinking feeling.

SPEAKER_03:

It does that, doesn't it? Mine's the local authority as well. If the local authority sent me an email, I go, but my stomach actually flips in my body.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Horrible.

SPEAKER_01:

And even now that they uh like our youngest moved to the high school and they haven't had to ring me for anything, like awful. And last week, over organizing a trip, nothing bad, but that number came up on my phone, and I straight away I almost just didn't answer. I was like, I don't, I don't want like what if it's something bad? What if it's something bad? Yeah, and it's that like immediate, I guess, trauma response to like, I don't want that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and then mine's definitely a trauma response in relation to the level. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

When Lizzie started at this new school, they um she was going in for our very first day, it like just to go in and see what it was like. And I had only gone down the road to McDonald's to sit in the car park and wait. And uh the phone rang, and it was the school, and instantly I was I felt sick, I felt awful. And she was there, it was the head teacher ringing to say that she was. I'm just letting you know she's settling in, she's having a good time. Don't do that to me, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh yeah, so we we would happily leave behind telephone calls from the school that are saying there's something wrong, and probably the local authority telling me there's always something wrong or they haven't done something. Um, okay. Yeah, this could be a tricky one. What's been the weirdest parenting win this year? And when I say weirdest, I mean like being untypical parents for us, it's like a massive win, but probably a more typical family would think what bra shopping last week.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, went bra shopping. Well, obviously, I'm not to be in the room with Lizzie while she was trying them on. She won't have somebody help, I can't get somebody to to go and sit out for them. Um, so I'm standing outside the cubicle, talking her through it. How does it feel? How's this? How's this? And I must have been doing such a good job that a lady in the next cubicle opened the door and said, Excuse me, do you work here? No. Oh, and I went, Do you want me to get some more? She went, I just wanted you to check to see if this was fitting all right. Tell me you said no, sir. I did, but then afterwards I did think I could have said£10 to jiggle.

SPEAKER_02:

I love that, that's brilliant. Somebody comes out of the cubicle.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, sir. I'm getting a gold star here. That's brilliant. Oh, I've had to work my eyes, I've got a mascara and I wouldn't. Oh dear. Have you got one?

SPEAKER_02:

Have you got one, Charlotte?

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, I can't think of anything as good as that. It's appointing. I'll have to try harder. Ours tend to be silly things, like uh, so our youngest has a very fiery temper and will tell people exactly what he thinks of them in that moment. Um so often like end up being conversations over the dinner table, like congratulating him when he's managed to just hold it back to like only telling them to fuck off rather than also calling them XYZ, you know? And and you sat there thinking, I'm not really sure that this is okay. But it is an improvement if you've just called them, if you've just said fuck off rather than calling them fat or ugly or like it's tiny, but it is. And like you say, a normal, a normal family, whatever the hell that is, would probably be horrified that we're even having that conversation. But you know, for him, that's huge.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I think that's quite similar in our house that we have to go through that you did really well just to say whatever you said. Yeah, maybe next time we could work a bit harder and maybe scale that bit back as well. Yeah, it's well done for not saying the rest.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I get that one. That's very, very true in our household. Okay, well, I don't know if I need to ask this question because I think I we probably might know with Sam. What might what's caused you to laugh so much this year that you have almost wet yourself? Has this something happened with the kids or in your parenting at a moment? Sam sounds like it was in a bra fitting shop.

SPEAKER_00:

Um I'm the I'm the clown. I just want to make her laugh whenever I can. So I just I'm standing outside the classroom where I know her and our friends can see us, and I'm like I know that she's gonna be embarrassed and laugh, and and it but actually one thing that did make me laugh, it's not parenting related at all. But it was a um a reel on TikTok, and it was this bear walking up to a Halloween decoration in the garden, yeah, and um he touches it and like it's a it does this and then the bear like falls backwards, and I just wet myself laughing for at least 20 minutes. I keep watching it.

SPEAKER_03:

Sometimes TikTok is really great for that, isn't it? I mean, I've kind of had this love-hate relationship with TikTok, but there is some very funny stuff on it, yeah. Yeah, it's usually some quite good entertainment in there at some point.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh dear.

SPEAKER_03:

What about you, Charlotte?

SPEAKER_01:

Aurs tends to be like random tangent conversations. So, like getting anything out of as as to what's happened through their day is like really difficult. Like, I don't know if it's that they don't want to revisit it, I don't know if it's that they don't really remember, I don't know if it's just that they think school's quite boring, so why are you asking me about it? I've no idea. But getting any kind of information out of them, like, is impossible. So our top three questions tend to be Did anyone have a fight? Because we want to know the ghost? Unless any any kind of fight or argument, we'll hear about it. And then if they've had science lessons, my husband will always ask them if it was anything to do with exploding anything. Did you get the opportunity to blow something up? Brilliant. They're always like, When are we ever gonna get the chance to do that? Like, our science lessons are not that interesting, it doesn't involve explosives.

SPEAKER_02:

I think it did when we were younger. I know, like, yeah, different flames and stuff.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah, we just end up off on tangents and like we'll be in hysterics. And then when you try and work back through the conversation, you're like, I don't even know how we ended up here. Like, how did we get to talking about this?

SPEAKER_03:

There's always really random conversations, and we gave a lot of those that we we start off in one place and we end up some somewhere completely that you just think, How have we got there? That's really weird how we've got there, but it feels quite normal and natural at the time, and we just gotta go with it and see what happens. But we had a moment yesterday I was with um my youngest, and he's been off school and stuff, so we've been trying to catch up, and he's I I'm dyslexic. And not only does it affect letters and reading for me, it also does numbers. Maths blows my brains. I do not understand it. I don't understand it. And of course, my son is autistic, and he likes to know why all the time. Why? So we're going through, and what was it? We were trying to do quadratic equations, but something to do with I can't even remember expanding them or something. And we got the giggles because this teacher's trying to teach it. He and I are just looking at each other, and we both turned around and went, but why? Why would you want to do that? You've taken something really succinct, and you've now just made it bigger. Why would you want to do that? That's ridiculous. And we just had that moment, that moment of just that's what bit I love, I suppose, is that when you get that moment where you're just laughing so hard together with somebody else. Um, and when you can get that with the kids, I just love it.

SPEAKER_01:

I love all those little snippets that kind of build up over time, and so like you as a family will have hysterics over something that relates back to something from like months ago, and no one else even would really understand it. So, our youngest, like I said before, has this really fiery temper, and it's now become like an infamous moment in our in our family that before the summer, he we were chatting about how his day had gone, and he said that someone had upset him, and I was like, Oh, and like, did you did you get cross about it? And he just turned around and dead seriously just went, I don't get angry, and all of us just we couldn't help it, we just burst out laughing. And it's also proof of how far he's come because he wouldn't have been able to cope with that like a year ago, but now he can have a bit of a joke about himself, and so like now every time little things come up, we'll be like, Yeah, but you don't get angry, do you? So that'll be okay, kind of thing. And it just makes everyone laugh still every time because it was just so out of the blue, and he said it so deadpan, like I don't get angry. What are you on about? And we're all like, um, if there's one thing that's guaranteed with you, it is the anger. Like, we know. But I love those little things that just like you guys get, and it just makes you giggle every time.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah, definitely. Like an inside joke with the family. Yeah. Yeah, they're I think they're the best. And I often I say I think if people looking in could see what we're talking about, they would just, well, they I don't know what they would think. I try not to think about it.

SPEAKER_00:

We have one from when I was a kid and we were on holiday and um were in a a little um like a trinket shop, you know, a souvenir. There was for some reason my mum picked up this little naked boy. It's just like a little naked statue, and she's like, Oh, it's naked boy, and picked him up. He was attached by a rope to a donkey and she dropped it and it smashed. So um my dad obviously went and paid for it. The man was very kind, he didn't want the money, but dad insisted. But from that, so I must have been 12 or something. Every time, like, I just want to make mum and dad laugh. I just start singing little donkey because it just takes us back to that moment.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, we need a boy! And it's nice to have those little moments, I think, especially when we know when we're going through tough times as a family, that just to remind yourselves that there are some really amazing, funny, brilliant bits that I wouldn't change for the world. I know there are some bits that I would change, um, often it's our experiences of things rather than the people themselves. I wouldn't change my kids or me, but it's really nice to have those moments that make you just go, do you know what? We've our life is pretty cool. I don't know whether I want to swap it. Their life looks a bit boring, actually. Right, my next bit is I don't know that your kids ever did this one with you. My kids used to drive me nuts with this one, so I thought I'd you know do the same to you. Obviously, is um they used to play this game with me, would you rather? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've got a couple of would you rathers just to see what your responses are. Okay. And I've lost my clicker and it's not right. That's that you won't remember them. Right. Would you rather have a week alone in the house, but you can't go out, or have a cleaner for a week? Cleaner.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, mine's a cleaner.

SPEAKER_01:

100% cleaner. But I would need an organizer first. Like I need someone to sort all the crap so that then the cleaner could do a really good job. Yeah, I couldn't stay in my house a Whole week?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Not with the fact that you're just coming out running you need to do. No, okay, right. Next one. Would you rather swap lives for the day with your partner or with one of your kids?

SPEAKER_00:

With one of the kids. I'd swap my Dave with Jacob. Why? Because he's doing tap and he's doing ballet and he's I mean might not be happy at my moves or my singing, but it's almost like that looks like fun.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. That sounds amazing. What about you, Charlotte? Who would you swap with?

SPEAKER_01:

I think I'd want to swap with one of the kids. I think I'd want to know what I'd love to be inside their brains.

SPEAKER_03:

That's what I'd like.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Just to know how they experience the world and what yeah. That'd be fascinating.

SPEAKER_03:

My eldest, no diagnosis. Um he has this brain that is like a steam train, like it sets off at a hundred million miles an hour, as does his speech. Um, and it's often quite hard to follow. So the the track of where he's talking ping off. So you can't even predict where he's going. And he we'll get to the end, and even sometimes along the way, he'll go to me, what was I talking about? Um, because he's completely lost track of where he's going. And I wouldn't want to stay there for very long, but I would like to get inside his head and think, Where, where, where did that come from? The stuff that comes out of his head, it's it's like a stream of consciousness and the most random facts that you've just thought, where have you got that bit of information from? And his brain amazes me. I uh it fascinates me what goes on in there. I think I'd swap with my oldest for a bit.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I'd take any of my three, yeah. I would love to.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. We were listening to a podcast the other day, me and Lizzie. It was a um crime podcast because we're quite quite like that. And in the podcast, they were talking about um how it when somebody's listening to a story or watching a film or whatever, they can put themselves into sorry, somebody knocked at my door.

SPEAKER_03:

It's all right. If it's gonna happen anywhere, it's gonna happen in here, Sam. It's fine.

SPEAKER_00:

Do you mind if I go and get it?

SPEAKER_03:

No, it's absolutely fine. One second, but you know, you're gonna be wondering what I'm gonna say. Yeah, we're waiting now. We're waiting, we're just gonna wait. We're not gonna talk. Sam just unraveled herself from a whole black uh blankets. It wasn't even something for me. Oh, boring. Right then, Sam. Let's talk about this podcast.

SPEAKER_00:

So they were talking about how people view it a story, whether they view it in the the first person or they're just watching it like you were watching a program. Yeah. And Lizzie told me that she actually she is the person in the story. So it that and that's quite traumatic for somebody like when they're listening to especially a crime podcast. Yeah, they're the person, they're either the murderer or the the person who's been murdered, the victim, or both just really get into so it is funny how people's brains work differently.

SPEAKER_03:

So does she get really scared by them, Sam?

SPEAKER_00:

No, she loves them.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, I'm not very good with the crime stuff. I I can watch if I know it's not real, it's when it starts to get a bit real that I'm like no like this. Bit scary. Um okay, next one. Would you rather no one ever asked mum wears whatever? Mine's usually wears my school uniform, or have someone sort and make dinner every night. Oh, dinner. Yeah. Would you see I would the mum wears whatever? Uh no, the dinner.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, it's the thinking and the planning and making sure you've got everything to make a flipping meal. Like, the actual cooking isn't too bad, and often Chris will do it anyway. But I'm the one that has to do the thought of what are we having and have we got what we need, or where am I gonna get that from? When am I gonna stop during the day to get it or whatever? And I hate that, it's so boring.

SPEAKER_03:

Do you plan it? I'm one of those like the kids are usually going, Mumma, we're having tea tonight, and I'm like in the fridge going, Um I've got fish fingers, some lettuce, and we've got a bit of garlic bread. Want that? Not all the time, everyone. I do feed them properly. Um what about you, Sam?

SPEAKER_00:

What would you rather? Definitely dinner. Sort dinner. We've got a little run joke in the house that I've got a superpower that so when I say that it's somewhere, they go, No, it's not, it's not. And then even if I don't know it's there, like Lizzie's headphones in the summer holidays, she wouldn't go out because she couldn't find her headphones and went that they'll be in your school bag. They're not, I've checked. So Jacob gave her his, and he she said, No, don't want them. I had another set, so I gave her that no, I don't want them. So everything was cancelled. Me and her weren't going out. Jacob uh and Wednesday and my dad went out, and ten minutes later I got a message from her. I found them, throw it in my school bag.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm like, just listen to me. I think I have that ability too, but I think my kids are really messy. No, that's not fair. My youngest isn't messy. My eldest is really messy, so it's often him. My youngest knows where everything is most of the time. It's my eldest. He has no idea where anything. Mum, where are my pants? Where's my bag? Where's my I don't know, I wasn't wearing them. What did you do with them? You know, all right, okay. Would you rather step on Lego barefoot or have to listen to YouTube shorts in the background for hours?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh I'll just move out. I'm not doing that. Neither.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm tapping out. One of the first videos I saw of Charlotte was her sorting through Lego. Yes, mounds and mounds, and I was like, You've got the piss. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That do you know what? That lasted about 10 days because they were interested in making money off reselling it. Then it all got scooped into a box, or more than one box, actually, and those boxes are still on top of our TV unit. And every now and then, as I'm sat on the sofa, I look at them and think, shit, I should really do something with all that. Because that's like over a year ago now, I think.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. But you know, I remember that video too, Sammy, Charlotte. So if you go.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

But I don't want to step on it.

SPEAKER_03:

No. So Charlotte's going, um she's moving out, she's not having either. Okay. What about you, Sam? Um, oh, we'll listen to the YouTube shorts.

SPEAKER_00:

You'd rather listen to those or get it. Yeah, we'll listen. We'll I'll go with that rather than stand. Oh, there's nothing worse than well, like it's like standing on a plug.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's horrible.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Last two. Would you rather your brain stopped overthinking at night time or that you remember every appointment without having to write it down?

SPEAKER_01:

Is it possible for you? Is it possible for your brain to stop overthinking, though?

SPEAKER_02:

Is it actually a thing?

SPEAKER_03:

Tell me it is, Charlotte.

SPEAKER_00:

Tell me it is. I don't know. Some people don't have an inner monologue. I close my voice.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't have a voice. No, I I had this I had this realization that other people do during COVID, actually. And I had many conversations with different friends, like literally ringing them up, like, do you have a voice in your head? And everything, like, what are you on about? We haven't seen anyone for weeks. What are you talking about? Um, no, but it doesn't mean my brain's quiet. Right. I have songs, I have pictures, I have like moving images, but I don't have yeah, like I don't have a thing that talks to me.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, but still busy. Yeah, really busy. Okay. So if we could quieten the busy, would you prefer less busy in your brain, or that you could remember?

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I never remember.

SPEAKER_00:

I've got three calendars and I still forget. Well, um, my phone's just done a crazy thing today and wiped everything out of my calendar so all of my appointments are gone.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00:

That would terrify me. I'm gonna go with remembering things, remembering appointments.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, you're that's gonna help you today, right in this moment. Sam's needing that one. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

I think I would go with that one because I can't actually imagine what like what a totally quiet brain would be like. I don't know that I'd like it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I think I'm so I think I'd go with appointments.

SPEAKER_03:

And I get quite worried about missing stuff, so I think for me, the the memory bit, yeah, being able to remember everything and not have to look at three different calendars and making sure I've got it in every single calendar and not just have put it in one, which happens quite a lot. Um, okay, last one. Would you rather be able to teleport anywhere or pause time for a nap? Oh, teleport.

SPEAKER_01:

Because I'll have a nap anyway. Even if there's not time, I'll just have a nap. But teleporting would be amazing.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, what about you, Sam?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I agree. Yeah, teleporting. Like never once have I ever thought, I wish I didn't need to have a nap.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Never ever have I. I always think, oh, I wish I didn't need to drive there.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, teleporting would be quite cool, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_01:

Plus, it would save you loads of time, so then you'd have time for the naps.

SPEAKER_03:

You can just schedule them in whilst you're in the channel. Yeah, exactly. Like Doctor Who. Yeah, yeah. My son loves Doctor Who, and I often think, I quite like a tel like a TARDIS.

SPEAKER_00:

We're who we're definitely big Hoovians and this. Why are you? Yeah. So this room, which is now Jake, which it is Jacob's room, I've kind of taken over since he's moved out. It used to be a TARDIS when he was younger. We had the walls all um hexagons, and the door was a TARDIS door, and any everything. I mean, I don't know where where anybody would have thought he was going to be an actor from. Like, I don't know where that would have come from. Every day he was dressed up as a different doctor.

SPEAKER_03:

Did he go all the way back? Because my son goes back right to the black and white, the first ever Doctor Who's, and he can list all the episodes of all the series.

SPEAKER_00:

Don't know whether he'd be that good, but he'd be he's pretty, he's got he's good got old ones and the the new ones. Used to say to me when he was little, because he had he's got beautiful thick hair, and he used to you'd say to me, Uh, Mum, I want to be Christopher Eccleston today. Can I have my hair off? And I go, No, and would have a big tantrum about it, and he'd be like, Why can I you'll not just let me shave my head? No, because tomorrow, Dawn, you'll want to be Matt Smith.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. And he's got long hair.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, end of Would You Rather? You might be pleased to hear that was fun. Just to kind of start to wrap it up, is to if you were to describe this year in terms of anything, doesn't have to just be parenting, but just this year in general for you. Um, what three words would you use to sum up this year for you? Oh this could be about you personally, as a person or as a parent, whatever.

SPEAKER_00:

Exciting.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Scary.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And can I just say love?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah, you can, Sam. I like that one.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, okay. I think mine would be exciting. Challenging.

SPEAKER_00:

Adventurous.

SPEAKER_03:

Adventurous, that's a good one. Okay. I think mine would be bumpy. I think exciting again, like you two. Exciting. And then I don't, it's not I can't put it into one word because I think that's my dyslexia. And I go, and I can't find a word. But mine's kind of like it's almost kind of proving to myself I can do something that I thought I couldn't. I don't know whether there's a word for that. You guys might come up with a word. But that kind of, yeah, I can do this. Like ride my motorbike's been amazing. Yeah. And learn to ride a motorbike and doing something that I thought I couldn't do. Okay. Right. All that leaves me to say is thank you both so much for coming on. I've really enjoyed it. Oh, do you know what my face is actually hurting and smiling? And I need you to go away so I can actually let that go and stop the pain that is now top on the sides of my head. Thank you both ever so much for coming on. Thank you for being massive supporters of the podcast. I couldn't have done it without the pair of you. I appreciate your support in every which way that you have provided it. Um, and here's to another year of doing it differently.

SPEAKER_00:

Thanks. Thank you. Congratulations on a year of the podcast.

SPEAKER_03:

Thanks, sir.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Thank you, guys. I'm gonna turn you off. Let me