When Your Kids Outspell You: The Hidden Impact of Dyslexia on Parenting

On this episode of The Untypical Parent, I’m sharing something personal about what it’s really like to parent with dyslexia. This is Part 1 of a two-part deep dive, and it's one I’ve wanted to do for a long time.

What’s in store?

Dyslexia touches so many areas of my life, far beyond reading and writing. As a parent, it shows up in ways that are often invisible—but very real. In this episode, I open up about my own experiences and how I’ve learned to adapt, talk openly with my kids, and build systems that work for us.

I talk about:

The moment my kids’ literacy skills outpaced mine—and how I handled that shift

Why logistics, memory, and planning can feel so overwhelming

How we’ve built a family culture around teamwork, not perfection

The power of being honest with my children

Letting go of shame and finding strength in difference

If you're a dyslexic parent, think you might be, or support families like mine, this episode is for you.

I'm Liz, The Untypical OT. I work with parents and carers in additional needs and neurodivergent families to support them with burnout, mental health and well-being. When we support parents, everyone benefits.

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Take care

Liz 

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Untypical Parent Talks
• 0:58 Dyslexia's Impact on Parenting
• 5:27 When Kids Outpace Parents
• 10:44 Family Logistics and Memory Challenges
• 17:22 Finding Balance as a Family
• 20:37 Helpful Strategies and Part Two Preview

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to the Untypical Parent Talks to Herself, the podcast for typically untypical parents. I'm Liz Evans and I am the Untypical OT and I'm your host, and in these bite-sized do-it-yourself episodes, we're going to dive into real talk about parenting in additional needs families. No fluff, no judgment, just the stuff that matters. No judgment, just the stuff that matters, because, let's face it, there's absolutely no rule book that works for the wild ride that we'll find ourselves on as parents and additional needs families. So let's shake things up, let's share some of the laughs and the hard stuff and get the support we all need in this untypical journey. Are you ready? Come join me this untypical journey. Are you ready? Come join me? Hi, thanks for joining me today. Today I was going to talk about dyslexia and parenting. I'm actually going to split this up into two separate episodes because I think I want to keep them short, but it's kind of a bit more to talk about, I think, in these ones. So what I wanted to do was talk about dyslexia and how dyslexia might impact a person with their parenting and how they parent. So I want to start with obviously, dyslexia is specific and different with each person, so what is how it affects me and impacts me and what helps me will be different to another person. They're not the same. It affects all of us differently, so I can only talk from my own perspective and what I have found challenging and what I have found has helped and that might be different for you, but it might also just be an interesting thing to think about. It might be that you are maybe listening to this as professional and you are working with a family and you might know that the parent is dyslexic. You might not know that they are dyslexic, and that's another thing to kind of think about. I think when we think about the kind of neurodivergent side of things and neurodivergent brains, um, we tend to talk a lot about people being autistic or ADHD, but actually dyslexia has a big impact as well. Dyslexia can exist on its own, but it can also be alongside ADHD. There's quite a high correlation between both diagnoses with ADHD and dyslexia, but also you could be autistic and dyslexic. So it is worth thinking about. If you're coming at this from a professional perspective, it may also be that you may know you are dyslexic as a parent or you suspect that you may be dyslexic a bit like I was, I suspected, I self-identified, probably, as being dyslexic, but actually it was never actually confirmed until just a couple of years ago. So I just wanted to kind of bring this to people's forefront, I suppose, of their thinking that actually dyslexia can have quite a big impact on parenting and how we parent and what we might find difficult, and so I just want to talk about that.

Speaker 1: 3:37

That's what I'm coming on to talk about today. I'm going to split it, as I say, into two parts. So the first bit I was going to talk about was what it looks like for me. What does dyslexia and parenting look like for me? Think of dyslexia as the impact that it might have on you at school when you were younger and you're learning, and then, as we get older, we might think about how dyslexia impacts us at work and how we're able to engage with work and any supports we might need around that when we're in a work environment allowing us and enabling us to do our jobs.

Speaker 1: 4:26

But what I don't hear people talking about is how dyslexia impacts you on a day-to-day basis as a parent, and I thought that might be an interesting thing to talk about, that we might not have thought about that, and it might be to say that you are a parent that is dyslexic or suspects you might be dyslexic, but actually you haven't thought about how that might be impacting on your parenting and the way that you parent and maybe our thoughts and our feelings and our emotions and our stress and our anxiety as parents. You might not have even thought about that bit. You might have thought, if you are a diagnosis of adhd or autism, that you're autistic or adhd, that actually that's what's causing the anxiety, that's what's causing the problem. But actually if you've got dyslexia in the background, it could be something going on around the dyslexia and, like I said with everybody that I work with, until we know, until we know what it is we're dealing with and pinning that down, how do we know what supports to put in, so it might be really different. So, anxiety that you're feeling about something, is it coming from a sensory system or is it coming from something else? Is it coming from a worry about something, a working memory problem, whatever? But until we know, being able to pull that apart and just considering, actually could this be because I'm dyslexic? It's just worth thinking about and it's just something I'm really interested in and I don't hear people talking about it.

Speaker 1: 5:54

I don't hear people talking about how dyslexia impacts our parenting. It's how dyslexia impacts us in school. It's how dyslexia impacts our parenting. It's how dyslexia impacts us in school. It's how dyslexia impacts us learning. It's how dyslexia impacts us in the work environment. But actually, when I look at it from an OT perspective, when we look at occupation, I'm looking at dyslexia and how it impacts me functioning and doing the things that I need to do. How does it impact me doing my occupations and occupation isn't just work, occupation is doing. So that's what I want you to think about today. That felt like a bit of a rant about occupation, but I'm an occupational therapist, so I'm always going to come back to that and that's the angle that I come at this from is occupational therapists.

Speaker 1: 6:45

When we work with people, we are looking at all the things that people are great at. We are looking at all the things that they find tricky and a bit more difficult, and then we look at how can we support that person to do the things that they need and they want to do and that might be in all the different roles that they hold, and we often, loads of the time, forget that actually, parenting is a huge, massive role and we often think about, you know, it's our work role, it's our self-care role, you know, looking after ourselves and making sure that we've got all those things met. But actually parenting is a ginormous, ginormous, all-encompassing, all-overarching, all-overwhelming, at times, role that we are engaged in, and dyslexia can impact that. So how, what might it do? So? We know that it's not just something that affects school and work. Actually, dyslexia affects everything that we do across our lives. Um, sometimes in positive ways and sometimes in ways that makes things more tricky, a bit more challenging for us.

Speaker 1: 7:58

And the biggest thing I found for me was very, very quickly, my kids went past me and I felt this and I shouldn't probably say this they went past me but their ability. I have got two kids that are the most amazing spellers. They are, they've almost got photographic memories. They I was so lucky when we were doing spelling tests and stuff when they were in school in primary. Both my kids could look at a spelling list and then would be able to spell them back. And that's from a mother that used to spend hours and hours and hours and hours and hours learning a spelling test in order for the only for the teacher to knock them out of order and then I couldn't spell them. So very, very quickly my kids could spell words that I couldn't. I knew when I did spelling tests with them.

Speaker 1: 8:49

I had to have it in front of me and even then there was a joke between us and me and them was that I would go to them that's wrong. And they would go no, it's not, mum, look again. And because of my dyslexia I wasn't reading the letters back properly and I was trying to decipher what they were saying and then what I was meant to be reading, and I couldn't do both and I would get it wrong. Well, I'd be saying no, it's wrong, it's wrong and it wasn't. Anyway. They learned to question their mother about those ones, and in a very nice way. Mum, can you just check that I? I'm going to spell it again Because, yeah, a lot of the time I misread the spellings and they used to do that horrible phonetic spelling. So like cat became cat. But that's fine when it's like that, but when it got longer they'd be spelling whole great, big, long words using that phonetic sounds. Oh, it used to make my head hurt. I hated it. I was rubbish at it, rubbish so very quickly.

Speaker 1: 9:47

The kids moved further than than I could support them with and that felt really hard as a parent emotionally. I felt that very difficult. I find I found that I was quite hard on myself. I found that I was quite hard on myself. I found that difficult to accept that my kids could spell better, write better and read better than I could. But what it did do is open up conversations for us as a family that we are all neurodiverse. I've got myself and my son that are neurodivergent and then I've got another son who's neurotypical. So we are neurodiverse in our family and each of our brains work differently. And although myself and my youngest son are both neurodivergent, our brains still work differently from each other. But that's just humans. Everybody's brains work differently.

Speaker 1: 10:36

And that opened up conversations between me and my children around. Yeah, I might not be very good at this and the spelling bit and we don't tease and we don't laugh at people that find those difficult. But what I am really great at is when they come home and they've got a project for school and they don't know what to do, who comes up with the ideas? Me, because I'm great at idea generation, which they struggle with because because that's not their forte.

Speaker 1: 11:04

So we very quickly opened up those conversations in our families around what that difference brought, what I found difficult, that an acceptance and I hope that I never hear my children ever tease another child for not being able to spell or read and it also brought a discussion that I could have with my kids that I wasn't perfect, that there were things I found difficult, that as an adult I was not all knowing or seeing or doing, that there were things that I found difficult and I used to use that by saying to them I'd be doing something, I'd ask one of them help, I can't spell, how do I spell this word? Or I'm reading something, and I used to read to the kids the poor kids, anyway. I used to read to the kids and I would say to them I can't read that word, what does that word, that word say? And they would help me. And I think that gave a really lovely connection between me and my kids is that I wasn't perfect but I was still okay and I could still ask for help. And it didn't matter that they were children, because they had a brain that was really good at reading and spelling what I was finding really difficult, and yet when they needed help for something else, I had a brain that was really good at reading and spelling what I was finding really difficult. And yet when they needed help with something else, I had a brain that would really help them out. So we, we learned as a family that that neurodiversity in our family and our brains in the way that they worked was brilliant and that's what made us the team that we are as a family, what made us the team that we are as a family. So there was that bit when they kind of went past me and helping with their homework was tricky. You know, I used to really struggle with that and now that they're in secondary English for me, I really, really struggle with that and I am lucky in the fact that they struggle with that. They're good at that and I struggle with that and they seem to be able to get on with it by themselves. But equally, I thought you know, if you have got kids that struggle with it and you struggle with it as well, again, you can identify with that. You know what that feels like. You can have those conversations, you can talk about how that feels, and those conversations are so important with our kids, so important that we are able to open up and talk about things that we find difficult as parents. And I'm not saying we overload and dump everything on our kids. That's not what I'm saying. But it is about those conversations about we are not perfect. We are not perfect and that is okay. Those are human beings and we find ways around it.

Speaker 1: 13:43

The other thing that I kind of find quite difficult when I'm parenting is that the the kind of juggling of family logistics so that for me my working memory, sequencing, planning, all that kind of stuff I find quite tricky. I have to write everything down, um, and it was finding strategies to help myself with that that when you'd have kids it kind of blew my world apart. I think with dyslexia and the impact that dyslexia had on um, on what I was finding tricky, that before I was kind of functioning, I was managing, when it was just me I had to organize. I have lists, I would have things written down and and I you know I could sequence things and work things out. It took me longer but I would be all right, I'd manage it, but what happened when the kids came along was that again blew that out the water with the demands, running three different diaries for you know me, the kids each had one, each um and trying to organize everybody and get everybody to where that they needed to get to. And what didn't help is, on top of that, I get really anxious about being late. Um, and just recently as well, one of my kids they know they learn, they've learned to check.

Speaker 1: 14:58

So we were due at a football match. I had had the text message in my head. I don't know why I had that. We were at home for the football match. It was later in the day match. I'd been up. We kind of had a bit of a lazy morning. I'd gone out for a walk, everything's great. I thought we had loads of time. I came back, I woke my son up and said we're gonna, we need to get up soon, it's time for football soon. And he said to me what's the time? Mum and I gave him the time and he went should we not be leaving? And I went oh, no, it's at home. And he said no, it's not, it's away. And I went no, it's not, it's not. I've checked. And I was really cross with him and I was like no, you always question me, you always question me. You bring your mates and find out. I'm right, it's at home. Yeah, turns out it wasn't at home. It was away down in Brighton and that meant there was quite a bit of time we needed to get there. So my children have learned to double check when we're meant to be places, because they know that their mother will read things text messages, letters, all that kind of thing and doesn't always transcribe the right information.

Speaker 1: 16:11

Timings I find difficult and often they'll ask me things like you know, what time are we doing? I can't remember. I don't remember numbers. I have to write everything down. I have to check in my diary. Another example is my son and his mentor went to the cinema. He told me three times what time to collect him. I had written it down in my diary and I still turned up at the wrong time because I don't remember the numbers. Turned up at the wrong time because I don't remember the numbers. So it did impact me with that one.

Speaker 1: 16:45

And it's things like, as well, you know, planning ahead with cooking and stuff like that. I find that tricky as well. I often get to the point I don't know that. You're the same. Oh, there's nothing in the fridge, nothing in the cupboards, and I've kept thinking I must go and do that, but with, you know, keeping things in mind, remembering to do them, I just don't remember to do them and I forget. So again, my kids will often say to me mum, have you ordered the shop yet? I try and keep my shop on a regular day so that I try and remember and helps me to remember a bit more. So that that's kind of a few of the things that impact me and my dyslexia and the way that I parent and the impact that has on me.

Speaker 1: 17:24

There are some great things that come with my dyslexia a bit like in with my working is that I'm great with ideas. I'm an ideas person, I'm quite creative and the kids have benefited from that when they've been at school. Um, I'm great problem solving, so if things are difficult, I'm great at coming up with ideas and solutions and strategies, which you know as kids go through and find things difficult in life. In school that's again proved really useful. So there are other things as well that I'm not quite so good at, like helping them with their spelling tests, because I still get that wrong even when I've got the spellings in front of me and they. We've learned to bend around that as a family and I think knowing and appreciating that we are all different has been an amazing thing for us as a family. So two things I'm just going to leave you with that that helped me, that have helped me. So again, the kids kind of support me, but I support the kids and, again, I'm not just dumping everything on the kids. We are a team as a family and they have found ways to prompt me or help me, just like I prompt and help them and and it's not an over demand on them it's actually showing them that as a parent, I am not perfect and as children and adults that they become, they are not perfect and that is okay. We don't have to be perfect. We won't be perfect and stop trying to achieve perfection. So they give me a hand when I need it.

Speaker 1: 19:00

The other thing that has helped more recently has been AI. So again, I had this love-hate relationship with AI. But what I am using AI for at the moment with my parenting side of things and I'm going to do another podcast on this, but I'm going to give you a little nugget that I use it for is when I've got a lot on in a day and I find it quite difficult to schedule and think about, okay, what do I prioritize and where do I do things next? And, whatever I do, use AI for that. And the other thing that I can be grateful is when I look in the fridge and I think, what on earth am I going to cook with that? And you type it into AI and go I've got this, this, this and this and this, what can I make with? And it will spit you out recipes, which is amazing.

Speaker 1: 19:41

So I use it in those moments when things have kind of got a bit tricky or I just need help to sequence and organise things and what to do next and what I need to do. And I'm a bit of a tick list girl, so I do like a bit of a tick list and it will help me with that. And the other thing is sometimes I need to see it. So when things are a bit tricky or I'm finding things difficult or things are quite chaotic and that planning side of things, I'm better when I can see it. So sometimes it is just getting out an A4 piece of paper and I literally just will do a dry, I'll write bits down and I've got arrows and whatever, but actually then just being able to see it really helps me to work out what it is I need to do. I'm going to stop there and I'm going to move on to there'll be a part two that will come out about this, and this is one around dyslexic parenting.

Speaker 1: 20:37

When we are in the systems that feel inaccessible, and those systems are things like tribunals, sen, local authorities, schools, all those kind of things that, when you are a dyslexic parent, how does that impact you and what are some of the skills and the strategies and things that I find helps in those moments. So that's it for me, for me today, as always. Thank you for joining me. Thank you for your time. I hope it was helpful. I hope it was useful to think about dyslexia and how dyslexia might impact us as parents and the way that we parent. And if you are maybe someone that is not dyslexic but you are working alongside parents that are dyslexic, or you're a teacher or anything like that, hopefully this will have given you some insight into the impact that dyslexia can have on that, because a lot of this stuff, a lot of the difficulties and what brings with it, is anxiety, huge levels of anxiety and, by knowing what the areas of difficulty are, being able to put the strategies in reduces the anxiety around that.

Speaker 1: 21:51

I'm going to leave you to fit. I'm going to leave you for today. I'm going to say thanks for joining me. Take care, and I'll see you soon. And hey, if this episode made you laugh out loud or feel a little less alone, why not buy me a coffee? Just click the link in the show notes. It's a small way to show your support and keep this podcast going. Take care of yourself. Today You're doing an amazing job.